Director: Jamie Thraves
Cast: Paddy Considine, Julia Styles, Karl Pruner
Spoilers Within: Yes 

Before there is any semblance of a review, I’ll provide a little bit of context to why we watched – no, chose – this straight-to-DVD thriller. The reasoning is at worst tenuous and at best ridiculously nonsensical unless you’re me or my girlfriends’ brothers.

Shane Meadows’ 2009 faux docu-comedy – Le Donk & Scor-Zay-Zee – follows rock roadie and failed musician Le Donk (Paddy Considine) as he travels across the UK looking to make a star out of best pal and wannabe rapper Scor-Zay-Zee (Dean Palinczuk). In 2011 (based on the YouTube upload date), Meadows and Considine released a video, where the latter – in character as Le Donk – lists his 10 Favourite Films of All Time.

Now, me and my girlfriends’ brothers have viewed this video enough times to probably skew the viewing ratio and know pretty much the entire five minutes verbatim. It’s very droll ,and very funny. Hearing Considine reel off a list of bizarro versions of original classics like Fanny Shack, Maximum Quince and Play Smixy For Me, and the explanations of his favoured proto-genres i.e. ‘retro fun’, ‘chase movie’ and ‘kitchen sink fly-on-the-wall stuff’ is brilliant, and on one particular night, this five-minute spoof became our basis for that evenings’ viewing.

cryoftheowl2

While looking for something ‘tintillating’ or full of ‘retro fun’, we settled on The Cry of the Owl, the three-image slideshow on Netflix and the shoddy poster-art catching our eye with what was hopefully a seedy, low-key thriller, starring Le Donk himself! With these signposts, any one of us could probably have guessed that it was garbage, and with little-to-no redeeming qualities save for Considine’s near-constant exasperated glances, we were right! It has a stiff cast of characters who were all complete maniacs; a shockingly sloppy script that changed character’s motivations from scene-to-scene without prior indication, and a confusingly dumb plot that I’m not even going to entertain. It was pure, unfiltered crap.

So, instead of watching this, go ahead and hear Considine tell you why Black Puddy Wuddy is one of his favourite films of all time. It’s 100% more watchable than this. 

Grade: D